SPIDER ATTACK

HOW TO KILL A BLACK WIDOW SPIDER IN A GLASS IN THE SINK using only those things immediately available…

Scream, then mutter, mutter, mutter through the next seven steps
(“damn it, just stay out of my house…why do you have to come into my house…you’re only going to die if you come into my house…if you’d stayed out of my house, I wouldn’t be doing this to you…”)

FIRST, a long spray of  extra crisp spray starch, check for movement…I see twitching…
Pour a liberal dose of Pinesol
Can’t find the RAID?
THEN, a large splash of Clorox
THEN, fill the glass with water…check to see if the spider is floating on top…
NOT FLOATING?
pour the contents of the glass down the disposal
turn on the disposal, run for 30 seconds
run HOT water down the drain…
double check that the spider has not jumped onto the counter top
SHUDDER violently
shoo away the Catt who has sat placidly watching…

watch the sink for the next three days for signs of spider activity