RESTART

It is not so much that I have been depressed…

It is more like I have been sad – that my darling daughter’s beloved died at such a young age leaving her and the kiddos with no road map for a while…how I wanted to help, but could not. They are making their way, praise God…I shall stop fretting…

It is more like I have been angry – at being fired just as I was turning sixty six years of age with a plan to work just four more years, saving and saving for a retirement celebration followed by time to read and visit.  I shall do it another way…

It is more like I have been  disgusted – with the shape of the world these days, the public servants who do not serve, the cacophonous press with its breathless shock and relentless doom and gloom… slick liars taking center stage.  I shall learn to ignore them…

It is more like I have been lonely – as friends retire elsewhere, where the sun shines ad naseum, and bugs crawl uninvited – distance does not make the heart grow fonder – just sayin’. I shall live without them.

I am tired, however,  of my year and one half pity party, my eyes glaring at others, my sighs of disdain stopping all conversation.   I am tired of being sad, and mad, and disgusted and alone – actually I do not mind being alone –

It is time to turn on the music, rather than talk radio; to dance ’round the kitchen, rather than slog to work and back.  It is time…It is time for joy in my gut spilling onto my shoes…

I’ll work on it.

selah

10/13/18

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